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Saturday Morning Madness - by Jason Martin
Ace cub reporter, JASON MARTIN, grills MADNESS mercilessly after an under-16's only gig at 'ammersmiff.
WERE WE going to make it? I was taking my cousin, Denise, to the Madness concert for under 16 year olds. She was at the top of the stairs, showing us her Madness t-shirt when she fell from top to bottom. She went all white and passed out.
My mum called an ambulance. Luckily they said she was OK and we made it for a Saturday morning of Madness.
Playing with Madness at the Hammersmith Odeon in London were the Mo-Dettes who took the place of the Dolly Mixtures because one of them was ill. The lead singer was quite a good dancer but I didn't like them much except when Madness joined them for their last number, 'Twist and Shout'.
While we were waiting for Madness to come on we were shown some cartoons.
As soon as Madness got on stage lots of fans ran towards the front and the nutty dancer, Chas Smash, said "Don't watch that watch this, this is the heavy, heavy monster sound" and they started playing 'One Step Beyond'.
The songs that I liked the best were 'Stepping Into Line', 'My Girl', 'Tarzan's Nuts', 'George' and two new songs, 'Young and Old' and 'Pete's Beat'. Chas was very funny doing his silly dances.
Madness had to come back three times because the skins didn't want them to go. Suggs said: "You've had your tanner's worth," as they went offstage. The drummer, Dan Woodgate, didn't want to leave and Chas had to carry him off.
While we were waiting for Madness to change for the junior press conference, Tiswas, the TV programme, asked us some questions.
Then Suggs was the first Madness member to come dancing his way up the stairs. All the group sat on a big table in front of us.
They asked me to ask them the first question. It's difficult to work out, with seven of them, who is answering what but here are the questions and answers.
Have you ever been in another group apart from Madness?
No. They all shouted together.
How many gigs have you played?
Hundreds, but none as good as today's one.
How did you all meet?
Chris, Lee and Mike were all friends, then we met Suggs and then we all got together but it's mainly all friends.
What job would you do if you weren't in a group?
There were all different answers but the main ones were a reporter, a bank manager and a gardener.
What other music do you listen to?
Elvis Costello, Ian Dury, reggae and Kilburn and The High Roads.
Do you make a lot of money?
No, but hopefully we will but we haven't got any yet. Why, would you like to lend us a few quid?
Did you write 'My Girl' because you'd had a row with your girlfriend?
Yeh, I had an argument with her and then I wrote the song, said Mike Barson.
Are you all nutty?
Without a shadow of a doubt. Yeah, we're the nuttiest.
Why did you sign for Stiff?
We were never on 2-Tone, we were only asked to do one record. We went to Stiff because we couldn't make the records ourselves. Stiff is a more personal company.
Did any of you get 'A' levels at school?
All different answers came up but in the end they said they started the band before they had a chance.
What's the message behind the new song 'Pete's Beat'?
It's about a copper who never gets promotion and has to stay on the beat. His name is Pete.
What do you take before you go onstage?
Make-up, massage, hair-cuts. No we don't take anything.
Why did you do this gig for under 16 year olds?
The reason we did it was we were playing places like the Lyceum and younger kids couldn't get in because you were drinking. We wanted to do a sit down gig so that the kids wouldn't get squashed.
What about the future?
We're going to America again and when we come back we'll tour Britain but at smaller venues.
Why do you call yourself Madness?
Well, you know it's one of the songs we do and we used to be called The Invaders but some other group with the same name got signed before we did so we had to change it. Chris thought of it and it fitted in with what the group was about.
What's your favourite song?
The ones I wrote, said one of them.
What about the rest of the band?
The ones they wrote. They all laughed.
Will you change your sound?
If it changes, it changes. If it doesn't, it doesn't matter. We'll just go on making songs and hope people like it.
What's your favourite football team?
Arsenal. No, England, Suggsy likes Scotland and Chas likes Ireland and Mike said he doesn't like football.
How do you always look so handsome?
Well, Suggs has had plastic surgery. No, it's just natural, he says. We all have arguments about who's the handsomest.
What are your hobbies?
Ooh, we don't talk about that. Making money and laughing all the way to the bank. Making models of British motorbikes.
One of their cousins, a two year old boy, was lifted onto the table and he did the Madness dance. Everyone laughed.
Then they were asked what colour underpants they wore and some of them showed us - mainly striped ones.
The last question was what do you wear in bed? Some said nothing, one said Brut 33 and I decided it was time for me to go. So did Madness.
- Contributed by Lee "Loobyloo" Buckley
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