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A Week In My Life by Chris (THE BAND FINANCIAL ADVISOR)
MONDAY
Got up and to prepare myself for the week ahead started off the day with the old keep fit. Down, up, down, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, hup.
Down, hup, hup, hup, then I did the other eye .... this left me well tired but ready for the day ahead. I pulled the curtains and all was dark outside. I realised that it was ten o'clock pm, not am, as was intended so, back to bed. What a waste.
*11 pm, DREAMVILLE .......
TUESDAY
Woke up in a cold sweat I'd had a terrible dream that I was penniless so in a frenzy I pulled up the floorboards to make sure it was all still there. I was relieved to find that nothing had gone ..... must remember to get a bank account. In the afternoon I decided to deal with the begging letters.
These usually ask for money due to terrible circumstances which we can't go into in a family magazine. By late afternoon I must of written about twenty and I posted them off that evening. No results from the last lot yet, but it's early days yet.
*12.00am HIT THE SACK (HE DIDN'T MIND)
WEDNESDAY
Got up, tripped over the floorboards from yesterday. Fixed them up and went straight out with my guitars because we rehearse on Wednesday. Took my guitars round to Rob to have them tuned up because he's the only person I know who can do it. Had a big argument on the bus because the conductor didn't believe I was fourteen, and refused me a half fare. Must remember to shave more often. When I got to rehearsals my guitars were out of tune again. I can't understand it, pay good money for a guitar and it won't stay in tune for twenty minutes. We had a good rehearsal anyway, and no one noticed my guitar being out of tune. When we packed up to go I noticed my guitar wasn't plugged in. Must remember to tell the boys not to play so loud.
* 1am GRABBED SOME SHUTEYE
THURSDAY
Went out to breakfast with Lee, Suggs and Carl we had a large portion and when we came to pay I couldn't find my wallet. I was so upset at losing it that I fainted when I came to, the lads had had a whip round and paid my bill. That's what friends are for, it's good to have such pals. Went home and a man came round with a vacuum cleaner and said he was collecting for the Jehoovers Witness movement, I gave him a carpet and told him to beat it. Watched "The Money Programme" and went to bed. As I got undressed my wallet fell out of my sock. Funny old world ain't it? .......
* 12.30am BYE BYES ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
FRIDAY
Mike came round and asked to borrow ten pounds. If I'd have known he was going to say that, I would of be pretended to be out. Still, I lent it to him and as he's a mate I reduced the interest rate on the loan by ten per cent. We then went round to Woody's house and went to Stiff Records. When we got there Woody kept the receptionist talking, while Mike and I put a few boxes of albums in his car for the Madness Record Stall which we will run in Camden Town. We've been doing this for years now, and I don't think they've noticed yet, but it's getting hard to sell "Seven" albums these days ..... Got home and did my accounts. Then Hot Chocolate, Drinking Chocolate .......
* 1.30am PUT MY NUT ON THE PILLOW
* 1.31am zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
SATURDAY
Met Billy "Bedds" Bedders in Camden High Street, we went for breakfast.
I tried the old wallet routine again but made the mistake of fainting first. While I was outers my wallet fell out of my sock, and when I came round Mark had paid both the bills with my money. Must remember not to try that one again. When I got home, I had a few replies to my begging letters that I sent on Tuesday, most unpleasant, some people ....... must remember not to write to the Inland Revenue except on business ....... watched Sergeant Bilko to pick up some tips on mooching ......
* 12.30am SNOOZEVILLE ........
SUNDAY
Went to buy the Sunday papers. The newsagent told me that the Times was going up in price next week, so I bought two copies. You can't catch me out you know, I wasn't born yesterday mate ......
Went to the pub for a few then went home to bed ........
* 12.00am SNORESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
FINALLY .....
I'm only joking, I'm not really like that. It's all made up ......well, except the bit when I "lost" my wallet and the bit at Stiff Records and ........., er well, thank you all for my birthday cards especially the homemade ones and even the ones who thought I was 27.
BE SEEING YOU, LOVE CHRIS XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Thanks so much for the (Badge, Crushed Biscuit and) Birthday Cards - Love Lee.
- Contributed by Lee 'Loobyloo' Buckley
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